El Sexo Y La Ciudad

I come from a long line of reluctant shoppers.  It's not just a guy thing, it's also a Mennonite thing.  Yes, we're simple, hardworking folk; happy to just sit on the back porch after a long day in the fields, sipping lemonade and sewing patches into our only pair of overalls.  Whenever I buy an article of clothing, I usually regret it, especially if the item is expensive.  I expect the utility of a garment to be commensurate with the amount of money I spent on it, which fills me with resentment for the fifty dollar shirt that isn't ten times better than the five dollar one I got at Value Village.  Also, my powerful thighs preclude wearing skinny jeans, which seem to be the only kind you can get now.  As a result, my wardrobe consists mainly of band t-shirts and CJSW Funding Drive swag.  My newest pair of underwear is the pair that Cody left at my house two years ago on June 4th (which were accidentally mailed to Brandan, who left them at my house last June 4th, so, hey, they're only 7 months old to me).  The only reason I have two pairs of sneakers is that I won some Adidas from Gravity Pope last winter.

As part of my rigorous program of turning my life around, yesterday I enlisted Brendan and Mike for a trip to the swanky boutiques of Palermo.  I managed to score a half dozen pairs of fancy boxer briefs, but when I got them home, realized they all had to be hand washed in cold water.  I also picked up a non band related t-shirt and found a pair of jeans with acceptable leg circumference.  The major score (or biggest mistake, the jury is still out) was a pair of shoes from 28 Sport.  Save your Imelda Marcos jokes, my second pair of sneakers recently blew up, so I still only have two pairs.  28 Sport make hand stitched leather shoes with bronze eyelets and rubber soles, basing their designs on classic athletic wear from the 30's, 40's, and 50's.  Each design is produced in a limited edition of 12 pairs, except for a few designs that they only make one pair of.  Even better, many of them look like the wildest bowling shoes ever conceived.  With proper care, they should last a lifetime, which is good because I spent my shoe budget for the next six years on them.