Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick

This is the building my apartment is in.  My place is in the back of the building, so there is no patio, unfortunately.

The Foyer/Driving Range

Navigational Chamber/Yoga Studio

Floor Hockey Rink.  It may not look that big, but keep in mind those are 15 foot ceilings.

Accusing Parlour

Salon/Cribbage Court














Master Bedroom

Bidet Practice Room

Interrogation Room

Guest Bedroom

Breakfast Nook

Washeteria

Servant's Washroom.  Yes, I have a urinal in my apartment.

Kitchen.  When the maid came on Wednesday, I asked her to show me the proper way to start the oven.  It was so obvious, I was embarrassed not to have realized the proper procedure.  All you do is find the long metal poker behind the sink.  Cut a strip from an old t-shirt, tie it to the poker, and soak it with rubbing alcohol.  Open the oven door and pry out one of the heavy bricks from the bottom.  Then, you simply turn on the gas valve, twist the oven knob counter-clockwise a quarter turn and push it in, light the t-shirt poker on fire, and wave it around in the bowels of the oven until it catches.  Hold the knob in for 30 seconds, then replace the brick.  Dinner time!

Dressing Room.  Featuring a biweekly montage of me trying on different outfits while listening to "Eye Of The Tiger".